Reviews Are Coming In

Reviews of ”Im God and You’re Not”

Judge, 7th Annual Writer’s Digest Self-Published eBook Awards. Feb 14, 2020

Structure, Organization, and Pacing: 4

Spelling, Punctuation, and Grammar: 4

Production Quality and Cover Design: 3

Plot and Story Appeal: 3

Character Appeal and Development:4

Voice and Writing Style: 4

I need a story about the bible or about a retelling of some religious thing to really captivate me or I tend to lose interest. It’s hard to do, and I really respect the effort involved in the task. This was an interesting iteration of that complicated narrative. It was clever to have God tell his side of things, to imagine him as a character with a story to tell rather than just rewriting the events of the bible

The writing was well done, but I felt that it was funnier and more compelling when it wasn’t trying to be funny…

…there are moments where the enormity of this storyline is hit on just right, and gets that balance of satire, social commentary, religious commentary, and obscure humor all in order

From a Reader on Amazon Dec 27, 2019

5 Stars

Great book!

Hilarious and well written book. Zeilig knows his Bible way better than many so called religious! Loved it!

From readers on Goodreads

Oct 24, 2018: 4.75 Stars

Full disclosure: I’m a sucker for works that peek behind the curtain, so to speak, and give alternative takes on Biblical stories. Stories like “Good Omens,” or “Lamb: the Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal,” really appeal to me. So I was already excited to get my hands on this.

I really enjoyed this book, and give it a solid 4.75 stars.

I see this book mostly as being two parts– one is a corrective historical guide, and I absolutely love it. More on that later. The other part usually comes at the end of several (not all) chapters/sections, where God– writing through Zelig– stands on a pulpit and sermons the reader about what bloody idiots we are. God’s not wrong; we are a species of dumbfucks who don’t appreciate the gifts we have, and we blame God for our everyday maladies. These sections are less fun than the historical ones, and I felt they were a bit jarring from the rest of the stories, and I wanted to skip over them (I didn’t though). Thankfully they’re a relatively small part of the overall book, so I think my score of 4.75 is a good reflection of their share of the book (not much).

Those sermons are a far cry from the true genius of the book, which is the historical “footnotes” from God. I’m far from a Bible expert, much less a historical one, so I can’t comment on the veracity of the information, but this book seems superbly researched. There’s a plethora of tiny details that truly add color, context and authority on the stories. One example that comes to mind are the various plagues Moses rains down upon the Egyptians– so much information! And also the cultural details of the times, such as what life really was like at Sodom and Gomorrah. The devil is in the details (hah), and Zelig (or God, working through this supremely talented debut author) educates the reader with every page.

This book is not merely comedy– and it’s PLENTY funny– it’s absolutely Bill-Brysonian, for which I applaud Zelig. This is equal parts easygoing banter and chock-full of facts, without slipping into dismissive snark. I loved it.

Aug 05, 2018: Rated 5 Stars

Oct 12, 2018:

I really enjoyed this book.

God decides to tell his story to an author (again) in the hope of clearing up a few misunderstandings.

The book is funny and caring, it’s cross-religion and also outside of religion. Lots of great historical info as background. Never too heavy, always readable.


All reviews used by permission of the reviewer

A Footnote to a Footnote

Just to clear up a possible issue in “I’m God and You’re Not” that might be misinterpreted.

At the beginning of Chapter II-Creation, footnote 7 discusses what God actually finds an obscene word to be. In it, some derogatory terms used to describe certain ethnic groups are repeated for illustrative purposes. The author wishes to assure the reader that he purposely used three different groups that make up his own ancestry, as he felt it was wrong to use ethnic slurs used against others. On the whole, he agrees with God’s take on this.

A Letter from God

This is Lucifer speaking.  If you read God’s last post, he’s taking a little break and asked me to keep an eye on you humans while he’s gone.  You may also recall that I am to report back to him on your activities upon his return (and boy, do I have a lot to tell him already which is a bit frightening when you consider he’s been gone less than a week!).

In the meantime, I thought you may be interested in reading a short letter I received via Paradise Post  this morning from the Big Guy…

To: Lucifer
Washington, DC
Earth Date: July 16, 2018 4:13PM EST

Hiya, Luce:

Just  hanging around watching a beautiful solar system set over the northern mountains here.  You really should see the display of infinite colors reflected in the lake–definitely one of the best things we put together in those early Creation days. Of course, I won’t tell you where I am.  I really need these moments of privacy every thirty millennium or so or I think I’d go as batshit as some of the humans are.

Oh, speaking of humans…I thought over what you and I were discussing just before I left and I didn’t want to leave you hanging any further.

I still don’t understand what is going on in some areas of the Earth right now.  It’s like some madness has taken over and people are forgetting their basic humanity right now.  I know many of them are frightened; they see their insolated patches of culture and tradition changing before them.  It’s that old story that every civilization has to deal with sooner or later.  You know perfectly well that this irrational fear allows demagogues to manipulate the crowds for their own purposes: it is so easy to deflect people from their real enemy–which is most often the very persons doing the deflecting–to some innocent. You and I have watched this over and over again much too much  in human history.

And always religious texts are manipulated and twisted to support the exact opposite of their intent.  These charlatans are always selecting tiny isolated part of their scripture to justify breaking the first rule of all great religions.  Do I have to repeat it yet again: Love each other.

I’m sickened at how families are being split apart as they seek a better life in a new land, babies, shrieking and wailing,  taken from their mother’s breast while rulers justify this by calling these family illegal and brazenly lying about them, saying that they bring nothing but crime and violence.

And there are so-called “good” Christian leaders who justify it by perverting what their founder preached.  They take a letter from Paul, who as we know, had a number of serious issues–you know the rumors–and justify these atrocities by what he wrote in Romans 13:

Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, whoever rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves For the one in authority is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for rulers do not bear the sword for no reason. They are God’s servants, agents of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer.  Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also as a matter of conscience.

Well, you know what a load of crap that is!  Certainly, Paul, being subject to the will of the Roman Emperor, that SOB Nero, and tried his best to prevent the persecution of Christians by imploring them to be good citizens of the empire.  But, he didn’t imply that such obedience was absolute.  Just look at what immediately follows the above in the same epistle:

 The commandments,.. are summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.’ Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.

So what takes priority if the authorities asks their subjects to do something that is against the fulfillment of that law?  Should the Germans in 1930s blindly have followed Hitler as so many of them did? If the authorities tell you to murder your neighbor, do you do it?

Where do you draw the moral line?

It’s like I always say, “I gave you a brain, humanity.  Now, use it!”

Well, it’s getting late here and I really need to catch up on my rest.  This sort of idiocy raises my blood pressure much too high.  So I’ll call it a night.  Talk to you in a while.

Be good.  You always are.





I’m God and I Need a Rest

God here. Even I’m exhausted by everything that’s been happening on your planet the past couple of years so I’m taking a little breather for a couple of weeks, so try not to get into too much trouble while I’m gone, humanity. Just remember Lucifer is still watching and I will get a full report from him when I’m back–and you know how he is! So watch it, or there will be Hell to pay

Kisses to all!