Meditation No 1

If I am kind, it’s because I know how the world can be so cruel

If I am compassionate, it is because I am only a man, and nothing human is alien to me

If I am loving, it is because the greatest gift one can give another is their sincere love

If I cry, it’s because the sadness in the world overwhelms me at times

If I rage, it is because I can envision how this world could be Paradise if not for human stupidity

If I dream, then it is because we need more dreamers

Do not take these things as weakness. They are my greatest strengths

I Hate You

I hate you!

I hate you because you are not like me!
I hate you because of the color of your skin!
I hate you because you don’t speak the same language as me!
I hate you because you don’t dress like me!
I hate you because you are LGTBQ!
I hate you because your politics are different than mine.
I hate you because you don’t live in my country.
I hate you because I live in the greatest country that ever was on Earth.
I hate you because you believe you live in the greatest country that ever was on Earth.
I hate you because you are smarter than me.
I hate you because I am smarter than you.

I hate you because your religion is different
I hate you because your Holy Books are different than mine.
I hate you because you pray differently than me
I hate you because you call God by another name
I hate you because you don’t believe in God.
I hate you because my religion is the one true religion and it says I should hate you. It says you are a blasphemer. It says you are going to Hell. Only the few who believe exactly as I do will go to Heaven.
I hate you because your religion tells you it is the one true religion and it says you should hate me. It says I am a blasphemer. It says I am going to Hell. Only the few who believe exactly as you do will go to Heaven.
I hate you because my God is a god of Love.

I hate you because you scare me
I hate you because I might not be good enough, I might not be strong enough, I might be lying to myself.
I hate you because your existence reminds me everyday that I could be wrong about everything.
I hate you because you are the witness that there are alternatives to the world I have built around myself to keep me warm, protected, and secure; and if I were to accept that these alternatives are valid, my world would crack and crash down around me. And then, who am I?

I hate you for the things I hate in myself and am afraid to acknowledge
I hate you because I shouldn’t hate you
I hate you because you hate me
I hate you because I don’t understand why you hate me
I hate you because I’ve been taught you are the reason for all the suffering in the world
I hate you because you were taught that I am the reason for all the suffering in the world
I hate you because for all my life the powers that be have taught me that you are my enemy in order to divert me from realizing that my enemy is the powers that be.

I hate you because without that hate I am nothing!

Reviews Are Coming In

Early reviews of ”Im God and You’re Not”

From readers on Goodreads

Oct 24, 2018: 4.75 Stars

Full disclosure: I’m a sucker for works that peek behind the curtain, so to speak, and give alternative takes on Biblical stories. Stories like “Good Omens,” or “Lamb: the Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal,” really appeal to me. So I was already excited to get my hands on this.

I really enjoyed this book, and give it a solid 4.75 stars.

I see this book mostly as being two parts– one is a corrective historical guide, and I absolutely love it. More on that later. The other part usually comes at the end of several (not all) chapters/sections, where God– writing through Zelig– stands on a pulpit and sermons the reader about what bloody idiots we are. God’s not wrong; we are a species of dumbfucks who don’t appreciate the gifts we have, and we blame God for our everyday maladies. These sections are less fun than the historical ones, and I felt they were a bit jarring from the rest of the stories, and I wanted to skip over them (I didn’t though). Thankfully they’re a relatively small part of the overall book, so I think my score of 4.75 is a good reflection of their share of the book (not much).

Those sermons are a far cry from the true genius of the book, which is the historical “footnotes” from God. I’m far from a Bible expert, much less a historical one, so I can’t comment on the veracity of the information, but this book seems superbly researched. There’s a plethora of tiny details that truly add color, context and authority on the stories. One example that comes to mind are the various plagues Moses rains down upon the Egyptians– so much information! And also the cultural details of the times, such as what life really was like at Sodom and Gomorrah. The devil is in the details (hah), and Zelig (or God, working through this supremely talented debut author) educates the reader with every page.

This book is not merely comedy– and it’s PLENTY funny– it’s absolutely Bill-Brysonian, for which I applaud Zelig. This is equal parts easygoing banter and chock-full of facts, without slipping into dismissive snark. I loved it.

Aug 05, 2018: Rated 5 Stars

Oct 12, 2018:

I really enjoyed this book.

God decides to tell his story to an author (again) in the hope of clearing up a few misunderstandings.

The book is funny and caring, it’s cross-religion and also outside of religion. Lots of great historical info as background. Never too heavy, always readable.

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All reviews used by permission of the reviewer