Depending on your belief system (and I would admit that science is a belief system, too), some few thousand or a few hundred thousand or perhaps even some millions of years ago a unique creature came forth upon this planet. It was called man and it had the ability to think for itself. It was self-aware, capable of contemplating its birth,its life, and its inevitable death. Continue reading “An Introduction”
I hate you!
I hate you because you are not like me!
I hate you because of the color of your skin!
I hate you because you don’t speak the same language as me!
I hate you because you don’t dress like me!
I hate you because you are LGTBQ!
I hate you because your politics are different than mine.
I hate you because you don’t live in my country.
I hate you because I live in the greatest country that ever was on Earth.
I hate you because you believe you live in the greatest country that ever was on Earth.
I hate you because you are smarter than me.
I hate you because I am smarter than you.
I hate you because your religion is different
I hate you because your Holy Books are different than mine.
I hate you because you pray differently than me
I hate you because you call God by another name
I hate you because you don’t believe in God.
I hate you because my religion is the one true religion and it says I should hate you. It says you are a blasphemer. It says you are going to Hell. Only the few who believe exactly as I do will go to Heaven.
I hate you because your religion tells you it is the one true religion and it says you should hate me. It says I am a blasphemer. It says I am going to Hell. Only the few who believe exactly as you do will go to Heaven.
I hate you because my God is a god of Love.
I hate you because you scare me
I hate you because I might not be good enough, I might not be strong enough, I might be lying to myself.
I hate you because your existence reminds me everyday that I could be wrong about everything.
I hate you because you are the witness that there are alternatives to the world I have built around myself to keep me warm, protected, and secure; and if I were to accept that these alternatives are valid, my world would crack and crash down around me. And then, who am I?
I hate you for the things I hate in myself and am afraid to acknowledge
I hate you because I shouldn’t hate you
I hate you because you hate me
I hate you because I don’t understand why you hate me
I hate you because I’ve been taught you are the reason for all the suffering in the world
I hate you because you were taught that I am the reason for all the suffering in the world
I hate you because for all my life the powers that be have taught me that you are my enemy in order to divert me from realizing that my enemy is the powers that be.
I hate you because without that hate I am nothing!
In honor of nothing in particular, during the week of Jan 21-25, 2019, the eBook edition of “‘m God and You’re Not” will be free on Amazon (US only) Spread the word and leave a review if you enjoy the book.
Looking for the perfect non-holiday gift? The e-book edition of “I’m God and You’re Not” is on sale on Amazon at special low prices during the first week of December :
Dec 1- 3 : $0.99
Dec 4-5 : $1.99
Dec 6–8 : $2.99
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Early reviews of ”Im God and You’re Not”
From readers on Goodreads
Oct 24, 2018: 4.75 Stars
Full disclosure: I’m a sucker for works that peek behind the curtain, so to speak, and give alternative takes on Biblical stories. Stories like “Good Omens,” or “Lamb: the Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal,” really appeal to me. So I was already excited to get my hands on this.
I really enjoyed this book, and give it a solid 4.75 stars.
I see this book mostly as being two parts– one is a corrective historical guide, and I absolutely love it. More on that later. The other part usually comes at the end of several (not all) chapters/sections, where God– writing through Zelig– stands on a pulpit and sermons the reader about what bloody idiots we are. God’s not wrong; we are a species of dumbfucks who don’t appreciate the gifts we have, and we blame God for our everyday maladies. These sections are less fun than the historical ones, and I felt they were a bit jarring from the rest of the stories, and I wanted to skip over them (I didn’t though). Thankfully they’re a relatively small part of the overall book, so I think my score of 4.75 is a good reflection of their share of the book (not much).
Those sermons are a far cry from the true genius of the book, which is the historical “footnotes” from God. I’m far from a Bible expert, much less a historical one, so I can’t comment on the veracity of the information, but this book seems superbly researched. There’s a plethora of tiny details that truly add color, context and authority on the stories. One example that comes to mind are the various plagues Moses rains down upon the Egyptians– so much information! And also the cultural details of the times, such as what life really was like at Sodom and Gomorrah. The devil is in the details (hah), and Zelig (or God, working through this supremely talented debut author) educates the reader with every page.
This book is not merely comedy– and it’s PLENTY funny– it’s absolutely Bill-Brysonian, for which I applaud Zelig. This is equal parts easygoing banter and chock-full of facts, without slipping into dismissive snark. I loved it.
Aug 05, 2018: Rated 5 Stars
Oct 12, 2018:
I really enjoyed this book.
God decides to tell his story to an author (again) in the hope of clearing up a few misunderstandings.
The book is funny and caring, it’s cross-religion and also outside of religion. Lots of great historical info as background. Never too heavy, always readable.
All reviews used by permission of the reviewer
There is a chapter that was removed from “I’m God and You’re Not” at God’s personal request. He has subsequently agreed that it could be posted on the web site :